Posted by
Blanca DeBree on Sunday, October 28, 2007 11:27:51 PM
Mr. Sullivan, I watched
Real Time with Bill Maher
this Friday. Actually I time-shifted and watched it on Saturday, but
that is the genius of the Tivo, without which pundits like myself would
be lost. The vapid flow of information, which endlessly streams from
the Mainstream Media, is far too much my mind to process timely.
To
be quite honest, your breed confuses me. You try to enter our tent, and
then become confused when we want you to enter in the rear--rather
apropos for someone of your predilections, don't you think? This is a
Christian party. We occasionally let in the wayward Jew. And once in a
while, a couple of black people sneak in. But for the most part, this
party is Christian, white, and straight. We have embraced this for
years. If we didn't, don't you think we would have passed some sort of
legislation when we owned Congress to help the "others?"
Oh, of
course when a minority comes into the party, and passes the
preassrequisite challenge of having wealth and being willing to abandon
others like him, we let him rise high in the party. We have even
permitted a couple of your type to rise, as long as they had the
decency to keep their private affairs secret, live in a closet, and
clap and cheer when the President introduces legislation designed to
make them second-class citizens. It's the only polite thing to do.
As
I watched you complain about our beloved President, I grew more and
more angry as the hour progressed. I couldn't understand why anyone
would willingly enter an organization which, very vociferously has made
it quite clear over the years that you are not welcome. It would be
like a Negro attempting to enter his local chapter of the KKK, and then
complaining about the lynching policy. It just doesn't make any sense,
don't you think?
You seem like an intelligent man. You're
familiar with the story of Faust, aren't you Mr. Sullivan? Not the
all-male pornographic version, which I mistakenly rented from my local
video rental. Note to self: must change video rental stores. No, the
original, written by the German Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. A midieval
scholar makes a bargain with the Devil in order to gain the knowledge
of the world, in essence to gain power. Knowledge is power. Or, for
folks like you: knowledge=power. Faust is followed home by a poodle, an
adorable dog, with curly hair and a penchant for dressing like a sissy,
something with which you may be familiar Mr. Sullivan. At home in
Faust's study, the poodle transforms into Mephistopheles. It is at this
point that perhaps one of the most quotable lines of Goethe is uttered:
Das ist des Pudels kern. For those of you who Germanically-challenged:
That is the poodle's heart.
Why do I wax on poetic, and probably
psycholitc in your eye? You stated on Bill Maher's show that you voted
for our beloved Commander Guy in 2000, but you became disenchanted in
later years. Perhaps you lacked that simple talent which our Decider
has mastered so skillfully, the art of looking a man in the eye and
seeing into his soul. He has done it often with Vladimir Vladimirovich
Putin, or Pootie-Poot, as our Commander Guy likes to call him--a name
so fitting for a former KGB officer. Had Faust simply looked into the
poodle's eyes, he would have seen the heart, which was the Devil's.
Do
I say that our beloved President is the Devil? Hardly. But if you, as a
man of letters, and a man of conscious, as you so artfully claim, could
not have seen into the heart of the poodle which followed the
Republican Party home in 2000, then you have no one to blame but
yourself. And like the poodle, which followed the Party home in 2000,
the Party followed the Religious Right home one fall in 1994, looking
for a home after an brilliant butt kicking by one William Jefferson
Clinton. Clinton mastered the art of speaking to the public, to both
sides, although not to the fringes. He became the middle-of-the-road
President, who occasionally strayed to one side or the other of the
line, but who could be counted upon to eventually return home to the
medium.
And this double-yellow-line philosophy is what scared
the living poop out of us on the extreme right. We knew we could not
compete with Clinton on substance alone. We knew that a populist cannot
be destroyed. We unfortunately learned that lesson rather late with the
failed attempt at Impeachment. And so when the Religous Right found our
lost poodle one day and took it in and fed it, our party wagged the
tail, to appease its new master.
Now don't get me wrong,
President Clinton was evil, pure evil. I can't remember why, but Rush
Limbaugh and Sean Hannity tell me this on a regular basis, so I must
believe it. Like all good Republicans, abstract and critical thinking
are not my forte. I am much better suited to follow a strong leader,
something who doesn't care what the polls or the people think, one who
doesn't care what the international community thinks, one who doesn't
care what the facts state--facts have such a well-known liberal bias.
That man is our beloved Commander Guy, one Mr. George W. Bush.
So
Mr. Sullivan, you see that you really have no stance, wide or
otherwise, in this argument. You knew what you were getting into. I
love my President. He has done the hard work, making progress, moving
forward, doing a heckuva job. If you don't like what the party has
become (notice I didn't use the word "evolved") then get the hell out.
We really don't want you, anyway.